Yumi
by Lune-Solei
Summary: Here-in lie the twenty-five things Yumi keeps quiet about. "5. She seriously considered leaving Sissi to drown during one X.A.N.A. attack (she didn't, but the guilt stayed with her)."
1. List

**Title:** List

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Code Lyoko_.

**Warnings:** Nothing in this chapter but there may be het, slash mentions, and dark themes in later chapters. Warnings will be posted in each chapter.

**Rating:** G

**Author's Note: **And so begins the next (revised) List. I know I've been saying I was planning on doing Odd or Sissi's next, but I felt like Yumi didn't really get a lot of screen time in Ulrich's List so I decided to try her out. To those of you joining from Ulrich's List, I hope you enjoy this one just as much as Ulrich's (or more). To those of you who may be new, this chapter will be the List, and then 25 chapters will follow, varying in length, on the subject of each number. Make sense?

Again, due to school assignments and studying I'm not sure when I'll be able to update, but I will be updating whenever I get a chance.

I hope you all enjoy this.

* * *

1. Her mother told her that France would "make everything better." She hadn't quite forgiven her for that lie yet.

2. Odd called her uptight, she saw herself as realistic.

3. Her mother warned her that "boys will only break your heart." She wanted to prove her wrong (she still hadn't).

4. She was _not_ a goth and she hated it when people assumed she was.

5. She seriously considered leaving Sissi to drown during one X.A.N.A. attack (she didn't, but the guilt stays with her).

6. There was a time when she honestly believed that she and Ulrich would last forever.

7. Her parents wondered how she turned into an insomniac - she could never properly explain that it was because she was waiting for her phone to ring any second.

8. She laughed off Sissi's advances on Ulrich (until she heard him call her Eli the first time).

9. She looked forward to having Aelita join their group (until she did and she realized Aelita wasn't as mature as she had anticipated).

10. She _hated_ bugs.

11. Every time they got summoned to Lyoko she dreaded it (no matter how hard she tried she couldn't forget the digital sea).

12. She tried not to like Will (he was everything she swore she wouldn't fall for) but it was only a matter of time (and they all knew it).

13. Switching bodies with Odd was one of the strangest things she'd ever experienced.

14. Hiroki blamed her for breaking up with Ulrich and she didn't have the heart to tell him his hero ended it with her.

15. Aelita told her of the funeral but she never made it back to Kadic for it (if she were honest, she didn't really try).

16. She never liked Emily.

17. Saturday nights were Girls Nights, no matter what.

18. She kept in contact with Jeremie the most (even if Aelita was the more persistent).

19. She liked to bake.

20. Sometimes she saw very little difference between Jeremie and X.A.N.A.

21. They never talked about it but sometimes, late at night when the fighting grew louder, Hiroki slipped silently between her sheets and she hummed old Japanese lullabies until he fell back to sleep.

22. Sometimes in between kisses she saw the darkness return to Will's eyes.

23. Until the day she died she would never admit that she was happy Hiroki was in that accident (it made the fighting stop).

24. She moved to Paris and enrolled at Sciences Po. She lived in a tiny studio and went to class (she stopped taking sleep aids) and X.A.N.A. became a nightmare, Lyoko a dream (she _smiled)_.

25. Aelita cried when she showed up to their graduation. (She won't admit that she almost didn't come.)


	2. Better

**Title:** Better

**Warnings:** None.

**Rating:** G

**Author's Note: **And here's chapter one! I can't remember if it said when she moved to France during the show. I found online that she moved as a baby but I also saw somewhere else that she'd just moved that year. So this is kind of a compromise. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you to everyone whose favorited, followed, and left feedback. You all are too kind.

* * *

_1. Her mother told her that France would "make everything better." She hadn't quite forgiven her for that lie yet._

She was twelve when her parents sat her down at the table. Hiroki was at a friend's house. Her mother's face was relaxed while her father looked nervous. "You aren't in any trouble, Yumi," her mother said. "Your father has something to tell you."

"Yumi," he began. He stopped and rubbed a hand over his face.

"Father?" she asked politely, curiously. She had never seen him nervous before. He looked at her mother imploringly.

Her mother sighed and rubbed her bare shoulder. Her mother's hands were warm and callused. "Yumi," her mother said in that soft way she had about her. "Your father has received a promotion at work."

"Congratulations, Father," she said promptly. She offered him a smile.

"Thank-you," he replied. He shifted and poured tea. "Yumi, once your school finishes we're moving to France."

"_France_?" she exclaimed. Her father shot her a look and she quickly bowed her head and studied the folded hands in her lap.

"It will be a good opportunity for our family," her mother informed her. "You'll like France, you'll see."

"May I be excused?" she asked. Her father waved her away while her mother frowned.

/

"I'm moving to France," she announced after school one day. Her friends stopped their laughing and teasing and elbowing to stare at her. Hina paused mid-twirl of her hair to cover her mouth in surprise. Kaito just stared at her, his eyes wide. Yumi tucked her hair behind her ear again.

"Moving?" Hina repeated. Her wide eyes widened more. A moment later she had her arms around Yumi in a tight hug. "You're my best friend, you can't _move_!"

"I know," Yumi murmured. She hugged Hina back just as tight. "But I have to. My father's already gone over to look for a house. He got a promotion." The last word is more bitter than she intended. Her eyes meet Kaito's over Hina's shoulder.

"When?" he asked quietly.

"Next week, when school's over," she replied. She wouldn't let the tears fall again, she refused. "I have to get home; I'm helping my mother pack."

"Next week?" Yumi nodded miserably. "This isn't fair!" Hina exclaimed. She stomped her foot and crossed her arms. "We've been best friends for ten years, Yumi!"

"I know," Yumi replied. "We'll get together this weekend, a sleep over, okay?"

Hina chewed her hair and nodded. "Okay," she agreed.

"Come on, Yumi, let's go," Kaito said. He gave her a wry smile and she gave a small one back. "Later, Hina."

"Bye guys," Hina replied.

They parted ways at the usual street corner, Hina heading east and Yumi and Kaito continuing on northward. "So…France?" Kaito asked. "Excited?"

"No," Yumi replied. She tucked strands of hair behind her ear and frowned. "I don't know, maybe."

"I'm sure it'll be fun," Kaito told her. He looked at her sideways from under black bangs. "You'll turn into an even bigger fashion lover than Hina."

She laughed and their hands bumped. "I doubt that," she replied.

"You never know." He laced their fingers together and she looked at him. "I'm going to miss you, Yumi." Her face flushed and she smiled.

"Whose notes will you copy?" she teased. "Hina's a terrible student."

"Yumi."

"My mother's waiting; I need to help her pack up the house…" She trailed off as he leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Kaito-"

"Yumi!" her mother called. "Yumi, come in and help me with pots!"

Kaito reached over and squeezed her hand. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," she mumbled before hurrying up the walkway to where her mother stood in the open door.

/

The night before they took the plane to France Yumi laid in her empty room and stared out the window at the cherry blossom trees. The light from the hall spilled in as her door opened. "Are you awake?" her mother asked softly.

"Yes," she replied.

Her mother crossed the bare wood floor and sat down on the edge of her bed. "I know you're upset about moving, but it'll be fine, you'll see," she promised.

Yumi twisted in order to stare at her mother over her shoulder. "Can you promise that?" she asked.

Her mother's hand reached over to brush the dark strands of hair from her face. "Yes," she said after a moment. "You'll make lots of friends-"

"I have friends here-"

"There won't be as many people; there will be more trees-"

"I _like_ the city," she protested.

Her mother's face creased and her lips drew together. "Yumi, please don't make this difficult. Your brother will be looking to you for an example. You must be brave. You'll love France, you'll see."

Yumi heaved a sigh. She closed her eyes. "Will you and Father stop fighting?" she asked. She cracked her eyes open to see her mother's expression.

"Everything will work out," her mother replied. "This is for the best." Her mother leaned over to kiss her forehead. Yumi turned back to stare out the window. She heard her mother sigh and get to her feet. "Goodnight," she called from the door.

"Night," Yumi replied when the room was dark again.

/

Two years later and she'd come to the conclusion that she did not like France. It was cold and rainy with villages and trees and grain fields. There were no cherry blossom trees, no Gozun Okuribi festivals, no temples or tall buildings. And they spoke a funny language.

Her classmates still gave her curious looks and her teachers could never get her name right. And she was really terrible at French. Hiroki liked it though. He spent days off in the park climbing trees, enjoyed when the children asked about his video game knowledge, and told jokes that Yumi was eighty percent sure were at her expense. It wasn't fair. She'd spent their first year here trying to learn French and was still only conversational in it. After that first summer Hiroki was practically fluent.

She kicked a discarded coke bottle and watched it roll down the road. It landed in the gutter and got trapped by a narrow drain. Yumi sighed and looked up to watch the other kids in her class walk in laughing, chattering groups home. She still missed her friends. Hina…Mei…Nori…and Kaito. She frowned. It still hurt to think about Kaito..

"_Ugh_!" she groaned. A couple curious heads looked over at her. She slouched down, hands deep in her pockets. Her messenger bag thumped her thigh as she sped up to reach her street faster.

She exhaled when she reached her house. Her relief was quickly replaced with a frown. "Hey, Yumi," her little brother said. He didn't bother looking up from the handheld game he was playing on the front steps.

"What are you doing out here?" Yumi asked. "Where's your jacket?" It wasn't cold but it was cool enough. "Hiroki?"

He jerked his head toward the house just as the yelling started up again. Her mother's usually calm voice turned sharp and piercing. "Dad's home early," Hiroki noted. She heard her father's voice rising.

Her fingers tightened around the strap of her bag and dug into her skin. "How long have they been fighting?"

"Since I got home," Hiroki replied.

Yumi sighed and blew strands out of her face. "Let's go to the park. They'll have sorted it out by then. Come on," she said.

"Really?" She nodded and he bounded to his feet, a wide smile on his face. She knew he liked the jungle gym at the park, she preferred the swings. "I thought the fighting was supposed to stop." He looked up at Yumi as they walked.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I thought so too."


	3. Realistic

**Title:** Realistic

**Warnings:** Uhm. Underage tattooing? Is that even a warning? And a couple of deaths are mentioned in passing.

**Rating:** PG

**Author's Note: **Oh my gosh! I am so sorry, everyone. The only excuse I can offer is that I am taking nine courses this semester and it is _horrendous_. Every week I have about ten projects due. That said, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It took a bit of work because I debated on one scenario or a series. Hopefully it comes across well. Thank you to everyone whose favorited, followed, and left feedback. You all are too kind. And I promise, I'll try and get the next chapter out sooner (I've already got _ideas_).

* * *

_2. Odd called her uptight, she saw herself as realistic_.

_The first is always the worst_ her father liked to say. It was his go-to answer for scraped knees, failed tests, pulled teeth, lost pets. Yumi had always hated that response. The first time they found out they weren't invincible was no different. But she did wonder if her father would still say the same thing. She never found out because she could never ask him.

"You cut it a little sharp there at the end, goofing off like that," Yumi said to Odd. It wasn't malicious, not yet. She bumped his shoulder and he laughed and bumped her back. Ulrich shook his head and followed just behind them.

"Nah, I'm an ace with timing. Don't be so uptight, Yumi," Odd snorted. "You have to put on a bit of show, otherwise where's the fun?"

"It isn't supposed to _be_ fun," Yumi replied.

"Yeah yeah, you're starting to sound like Einstein," Odd groaned.

"When do you think we set back to?" Ulrich asked. "We're still at the factory."

"Don't know, we'll ask Einstein, hopefully it was after Hertz's test," Odd replied. He bounded into the supercomputer room ahead of them. "Hey, Einstein-!"

Yumi froze in the doorway, stared at the boy sitting hunched in the chair, head in his hands and shoulders shaking. She didn't have to see the screen to know something went wrong.

/

For a week she wore the black ink spelling out **_P. D. 3/1/04_** on the inside of her wrist, right along the blue veins. Ulrich was the first to notice it. Carefully, he took her wrist in his. He turned it so that he could study the writing and when his eyes met hers she saw the pain in them.

"Yumi…" he said.

They hadn't gone to the funeral. But they'd watched it. The four of them huddled under black umbrellas as a mother's sobs filled the graveyard. She waited to hear him say _it'll be fine_ or _it'll get better_ or even _it's not our fault_.

Instead he squeezed her cold fingers and released her arm. "It's a nice thought," he told her.

Jeremie noticed as they sat waiting for Ulrich and Odd the following morning. She had been stretching her arms out at a rare moment when he lifted his eyes from his laptop screen. He blinked. "What's that?"

"You know what it is," she replied.

"You shouldn't have that. People might know…might wonder…" He looked around as though he expected Milly and Tamiya to pop up with microphone and video camera in hand.

"They won't."

"Yumi, it's dangerous," he told her. "We all regret what happened…you know that. But to have a reminder…you shouldn't have it there."

"Jeremie," she said. He looked up at her, at the pitch to her voice that she couldn't get rid of. "Jeremie, it's something I have to do. No one will know. I won't tell anyone."

He took a breath and when he exhaled he looked concave. "Alright," he agreed, but he didn't sound happy about it.

She never knew if Odd noticed. She didn't catch him looking at it and he never asked about it. It wasn't something she could ask about either.

She hoped he had.

"Yumi, is there something we should…discuss?" her mother asked after school on the fourth day. Yumi looked up, eyes red rimmed and sleepless and shook her head. "Yumi…" Her mother's hand grasped her wrist, fingers just shy of touching the writing.

"It's nothing, just something I wrote for class."

Her mother's eyes were troubled. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," she replied. Her phone buzzed and she flinched. "I have to go…I'm studying at school."

"Yumi!"

She grabbed the phone and ran.

. . … . .

Her ears were deceiving her. They had to be. She stared at Ulrich incredulously. He looked back, arms crossed over his chest and one shoulder hitched slightly in a what-can-I-say way. "What did you just say?" she asked anyway.

Odd looked up from where he was scribbling something on his arm long enough to watch them. From behind her she heard Jeremie cough. "Guys, we're in a bit of a time crunch here," Jeremie reminded them.

Ulrich shrugged both shoulders properly this time. "You heard me," he said. "I think we should use Sissi."

"_Use_ Sissi?" Yumi repeated.

Jeremie shook his head. "We told you, she can't be trusted."

"She doesn't have to know," Ulrich replied. His eyes wouldn't meet hers though and her stomach clenched uncomfortably tight. She swallowed a couple times and opened her mouth to argue.

"I agree," Odd said. Three heads whipped around to look at him. He offered a smile. "Sissi can be useful. We don't have a lot of time and Sissi's got Delmas wrapped around her finger. It could stop the X.A.N.A. attack from going bad again."

Jeremie frowned and chewed on his lip. "Guys…"

Yumi glowered. "You better be right," she interrupted.

"Don't be a pessimist, Yumers," Odd retorted.

"I'm not, I'm a realist." Odd muttered something she ignored.

"Come on, let's get going then," Jeremie said.

Yumi's eyes met Ulrich's. "You'll be careful?"

"Always am," he replied, but he still wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Right," she agreed and followed the others. She never did find out what Ulrich promised Sissi in order to get her cooperation.

. . … . .

"Don't be such a killjoy, Yumers," Odd laughed. His voice echoed eerily in the factory.

"Don't call me that," she snapped irritably.

"Leave her alone, Odd," Ulrich called. He was writing something in a notebook propped on his knees.

"It's just a party," Odd reasoned. He waggled his eyebrows at Yumi. "Come on, it'll be fun." She knew why he wanted to go. He'd been flirting with Monet Giroux for two weeks now. She played girls' football and had long chestnut hair and grey eyes. And she was known for her party-of-the-century parties.

"Don't you have to study?" she asked. She flipped a page in her book pointedly but it fell on deaf ears.

"Studied before X.A.N.A. decided to attack," Odd replied. His back arched as he stretched. "Lucky for us we had to do a Return, means a free night for once."

Yumi sighed and looked to Jeremie for backup. His nose was buried in some book with faded text on the spine and she groaned. "We can't just go to a party," she said finally.

"Why not?" Odd reasoned. "Monet's throwing it and everyone knows her parties are the best in town. Her parents are in Paris for the night."

"My parents would never let me," she rationalized. "And you're just hoping to kiss her."

"So don't tell them. Come on, relax. Have some fun," Odd replied. She didn't fail to notice his lack of reaction to her second statement. He kicked Ulrich's foot and got a disgruntled look in return. "Nature Boy here's going."

She stared at Ulrich incredulously. "You are?" she asked. She shouldn't have been surprised. She knew Ulrich had gone to parties before (before X.A.N.A. anyway) but he was so secretive. Parties didn't seem like they'd be his scene. Especially not a _Monet Party_.

He shrugged. "Seems fun. It'd be nice to get away from school for a bit," he admitted.

"Are you telling me you didn't finish your homework last night, before the X.A.N.A. attack?" Odd demanded. "You, who's practically another Jeremie and gets it done a _week_ in advance?"

Yumi huffed and slammed her book shut. "I did, but my parents know I have a History test-"

"Which you already took," Ulrich reasoned.

"Yes, but they don't _know_ that," Yumi snapped. She turned to Jeremie again. "What do you think?"

"X.A.N.A.'s usually quiet after an attack of the last one's magnitude. It might be fun to get out and observe the social interactions of our student peers outside of school."

"_See_?" Odd exclaimed. "Even Jeremie wants to go!"

Yumi sighed and rubbed her temples. "Alright, I'll come," she muttered.

Odd whooped and nudged Ulrich's foot again. "See, told you I'd get her to come!"

She thought Ulrich might have smiled.

. . … . .

"What did you do?" Yumi asked, eyes wide and vaguely horrified.

Odd grinned at her, arm slung around Aelita's shoulders. Aelita tugged at a few strands of hair and looked uncertain. "Looks good, doesn't it? She's sure to fit in now."

"You…You…"

"Jeez, Yumi, relax. Quit being so uptight, it's not like it's your hair," Odd laughed.

"Don't you like it?" Aelita asked.

"I…I…Yes, of course," Yumi replied. "It's just a surprise."

Aelita's fingers drifted away from the absentminded twirling of the newly dyed hair and her face broke out in a wide, relieved smile. Yumi hadn't realized how much they looked alike until that moment. Same height, same slight build, same eye color, and now the same hair color.

"Oh good, I wasn't sure when Odd first suggested it…but I guess now people won't be staring at my hair all the time, right?"

"Right," Yumi replied. She could see Jeremie and Ulrich approaching behind the so-called cousins. "Have you shown Jeremie yet?"

Aelita's bottom lip disappears between her teeth. "Not yet," she admitted.

"Won't matter," Odd replied. "Guys love blondes." Aelita elbowed him and Yumi sent him a glare. "Well, except Ulrich, I guess," he amended. He waggled his eyebrows at Yumi. "Seems like you're safe."

She kicked him as the boys arrived.

. . … . .

"Did you tell anyone where we were going?" Yumi asked.

Odd shook his head. "No, Ulrich's busy with his sister. Aelita's been kind of distant since…and Einstein'd probably tell on us," Odd replied. He looked over at Yumi and frowned. "You sure about this?" he asked.

"Haven't you already told me to stop being an uptight pessimist?" she asked.

"I never said pessimist," he protested.

"You have," she replied. "But yes, I'm sure." She nodded and took a breath, staring at the shop. It was the day before her sixteenth birthday. They'd taken the train in to Paris after lunch. She was surprised when Odd reached over to squeeze her hand.

"Okay then," he said. "Come on."

A chime rang as they pushed the door open. Yumi looked around at the designs decorating the walls. "How'd you find this place again?" she asked.

Odd stepped around her, eyeing a painting of two koi fish intertwined. "Friend of mine works here." Yumi nodded even though he couldn't see. She let the door fall shut behind her and approached the front desk. A girl came out of an open door and Yumi frowned. She looked familiar. Odd turned and a smile lit up his face. "And here she is. Hey, Sam."

The girl swatted turquoise streaked hair out of her eyes and gave a lazy smile. "Hey, stranger," she said. Yumi remembered her now. She'd grown some but was still willowy. Her dark hair was cut chin length now and she was dressed in a corset and plaid skirt. "You here to see Sean?"

"She is," Odd replied with a nod toward Yumi.

Sam's eyes settled on her for a moment. "Yuna, right?"

"Yumi," she replied. "Hi, Sam."

"Sean's almost done back there. So, do you know what you want to get?"

She didn't look at Odd as she answered, "yeah."

/

_Dad's wrong_, she thought, grimacing. It hurt just as much the second time. The man, Sean, gave her an apologetic smile but didn't look up from his work. She could hear Odd chattering away with Sam in the reception area and she grit her teeth. The needle buzzed as it went in and out of the thin skin on her wrist.

"So, what's with the initials and dates?" Sean asked. "If you don't mind my asking." He was younger than she anticipated, maybe nineteen or twenty. Sam had sensed her apprehension and pulled out a book of photos of Sean's tattoos to try and calm her.

"Mistakes," Yumi replied. She focused on the stud poking out of his left eyebrow. Something in her voice must have tipped him off because he changed the subject.

"You live in Paris?"

"Outside of it," she answered. "Why tattooing?" she asked.

"Canvas was too boring," he replied. She laughed despite herself and he flashed her another grin. "No challenge."

"I'm sure," she replied.

"It's the truth," he protested. A moment of silence and then he was putting aside the needle and blotting lightly at her skin. "You're done."

"Thanks." She checked her arm; saw the black ink stark against the pale inside of her wrist. **_P. D. 3/1/04_** and, below it, **_M. G. 30/4/06_**. She started to get up and Sean grabbed her arm. She looked up at him in surprise.

"You ever make any more mistakes, you give a call, okay?" he asked. He handed her a business card. "Even if it's not one that needs to be written down."

She might have cried, if she hadn't cried for the past two days. Instead she nodded and slipped his card into her pocket. "Thanks," she repeated.

Odd looked up when she entered the reception area, followed by Sean. His eyes fell to her wrist and the initials and dates. "Looks good," he said, and there was an odd note to his voice.

_The first is always the worst_, her dad liked to say. She touched the raw skin around the tattoo and frowned. It wasn't true. Michel Girard hurt just as much as Phillippe Dumas had. She held her arm out as Sean put the bandage over it, took the instructions that Sam handed her.

"Come on," Odd said. "Lets go."

Odd liked to tease her by calling her _uptight_ or _pessimistic_, but walking out of that tattoo shop, feeling his eyes on her bandaged arm, she knew he knew. It wasn't pessimism to know your limits. It wasn't being uptight to try and prevent the risks. They were on the Metro when she nudged him.

"Thanks for coming with me today," she said when he looked at her.

He gave her a small smile and nudged her back. "Anytime, Yumers." She didn't protest the nickname this time.


	4. Boys

**Title:** Boys

**Warnings:** Cheating (romantically, not on a test), parental disputes, hints of things of a sexual nature, rough making out? (honestly I don't know how to describe it...), OCs.

**Rating:** PG-14

**Author's Note: **Long updates after long waits are good, right? That said, I've noticed that each chapter has grown by approximately a thousand words. I hope this stops happening soon otherwise chapter 26 will be ridiculously long. Four OCs in this chapter, two you've seen before, one you haven't (and probably won't see again), the other you may see again but probably not. Thank you to everyone whose favorited, followed, and left feedback. You all are too kind.

* * *

_3. Her mother warned her that "boys will only break your heart." She wanted to prove her wrong (she still hadn't)._

Hiroki was asleep on the sofa, head pillowed on a folded arm. Her parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins, laughed and chatted as they drank and sampled from the _osechi_. Her mother had already forced her to eat two helpings of _kuro-mame_ in order to hopefully prevent illness in the New Year. She still maintained that it wasn't her fault Hina had given her the flu three times.

Yumi sighed and stared out the back doors at the sky. The clouds were sparse and the stars shone brightly tonight. She checked her watch and saw that it was almost midnight. "Yumi!" her father called.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Could you fetch more sake from the kitchen?"

"Sure," she called. She stepped over Hanna and Cho's legs. They didn't look up from where they were drawing on each other's arms. Kyou gave her a smile as she passed and she smiled back but he'd already returned to the game in his hands. Kyou was two years older than Hiroki and much better at staying awake.

A knock sounded at the door and she frowned. The adults hadn't heard over the sound of Beethoven and the talking and excited laughing. Yumi opened the front door and frowned. "Kaito?" she asked.

"Hey, Yumi," he replied. He was bundled up from the cold and he shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. "Can you come out here for a moment?"

"What are you doing here?" she asked. She stepped out, shutting the door behind her.

"I slipped out," he admitted. She frowned, confused, as he grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the porch rail. "The stars are pretty tonight."

"Yeah…do you want to come in?" She wasn't sure what to do. She'd never had someone not related to her appear on New Year's eve. "It's almost midnight."

"I know." He shifted again. "Let's just stand out here for a moment, okay?"

"…Okay." She leant on the rail next to him. He took her hand again and she looked at him curiously. "Kaito?" He was acting odd, definitely not his usual cool self. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, great…I…" he trailed off as the bells began to ring. All over the temple bells rang, filling the night air as people cheered. She wondered if her family had noticed her absence yet. She wondered if…

Kaito kissed her.

She froze.

He pulled back, face red and eyes wide. "I'm sorry…I just. I really like you, Yumi and…and…"

She smiled and blushed, fingers automatically playing with the strands of hair too short to be tucked behind her ear. "Really?" she asked over the sound of the bells.

His face turned redder. "Yeah, really." He shifted and tugged at his jacket sleeves. "Are you upset?"

"No," she said. She gave him a shy smile and then addressed the post behind his left shoulder, "but we might have to try that kiss again."

He grinned, and as the bells faded away, leaned in and kissed her again.

/

"You're really moving?" Kaito asked.

"Yeah."

They sat at the koi pond and she tossed bits of bread to the fat fish. "That sucks," he groaned. Yumi shrugged and let him pull her tight against him in a one-armed side hug. "Will you come back?"

"Of course I will." She wouldn't look at him because then he'd see the tears and she didn't want him to see her cry. "I guess this means we'll be breaking up, huh?" They'd only been together six months anyway. It wasn't a big deal, she tried to tell herself.

"What, why?"

"I'm moving. To _France_. It's not like I'll be an hour's train ride away," she replied irritably.

"So?" He tightened his grip on her. "Yumi, look at me." Reluctantly, she met his eyes. They were dark and glinting with something she was still too young to identify. "I love you-"

"My mother says we're too young to know love," she scoffed, eyebrow raised.

"What does she know about how I feel?" he asked. "I care about you a lot. I'll see you when you come back and maybe I can come visit you, yeah?"

"You mean it?" she asked. She fought the bubbling feeling but could feel it manifesting itself as a smile.

"I mean it."

She grinned as she kissed him.

/

Her mother hummed and ran calloused fingers through her hair. Yumi curled in a ball and sobbed into her pillow. The letter Hina had sent clutched in her hand. "How…how c-could he?" she hiccupped against her mother's warm leg.

"You didn't really think this would last, did you?" her mother asked. Yumi sobbed harder, the paper crumpling in her hands. Her mother's hands moved to her shoulders, massaging gently. "I'm sorry, Yumi. Boys, especially at this age, do stupid things. You must realize this. It'll get easier, you'll see."

"He said he loved me!" she protested. "And Hina said he went off with Mei and…and he said he loved me."

She heard her mother sigh. "Boys will say many things, Yumi. You have to learn how to tell what's true and what's not. It's a hard lesson, but everyone goes through it. Listen to me; I'm not trying to be mean. Boys will break your heart. And you'll break theirs…"

"Not like this! I wouldn't cheat on someone!"

"No, you won't," her mother said. Yumi sat up, wiping at her face and tossing the letter aside. "You're barely thirteen, Yumi. You'll move past it, and you'll remember this the next time a boy breaks your heart. And it might be worse then, or it might be easier. But you will always feel pain, that's the way of relationships."

Her mother pulled her into a hug and Yumi curled up against her. She breathed in the scent of tea and cleaning supplies and lavender soap and wished she were still Hiroki's age.

The next day she burned their photos and the printed emails in the rubbish bin out back.

. . … . .

Robert Nattier had those dark eyes she'd always been drawn to. The brooding ones. The secretive ones. He launched paper balls at her hair at lunch and accidentally spilled juice on her new sweatshirt. Shannon blew a pink bubble and kicked her shin under the table.

"What?" Yumi demanded. She was already irritated by the paper balls and juice spilling. Shannon rolled her blue eyes and beckoned Yumi to lean in. "_What_?" Yumi repeated, obediently leaning forward until the table bit into her stomach.

"He _likes_ you," Shannon said. Yumi's eyes narrowed while Shannon's widened. "You're so flipping lucky. He's a year older and _almost_ as hot as Johnny Depp."

"I don't like Johnny Depp," Yumi protested. Shannon gave her a sad look and shook her head. "Anyway, why doesn't he just ask me out?"

Shannon rolled her eyes. "Because he's a boy, duh." She popped another bubble while Yumi chewed her lip. "Don't blow it, Yumi. He's Kadic's number one hottie."

/

_Don't blow it, Yumi_.

Shannon's words echoed in her head as she sat in the dark cinema with Robert. He gave her a grin as the previews started and she mustered a small one in response. She still wasn't sure what movie they had actually agreed on seeing.

_Don't blow it, Yumi_.

Her face heated as Robert wrapped an arm around the back of her chair, his fingers rubbing at her shoulder and playing with her hair. She focused on the screen, watching two children holding some kind of tin box and talking of dares.

_Don't blow it, Yumi._

Robert's hand shifted, moved down her arm. She shifted in her seat and dropped her phone. Quickly she leaned forward to find it on the ground. When she sat up again, his arm was gone. With a half-suppressed sigh she settled back and tried to focus on the movie again.

_Don't blow it, Yumi_.

Marion Cotillard made an appearance on screen about the same time that Robert's hand made it's appearance on her leg. "I'm glad you agreed to come with me," Robert breathed into her ear.

_Don't blow it, Yumi_.

"Please, stop. I'm trying to watch the movie," she hissed back. She grabbed his hand and he leaned in and managed to kiss her in the near-dark. Her head spun as he pressed in. He wasn't like Kaito. He wasn't shy. He was demanding and pushy and her gasp was all the invitation he needed to stick his tongue in her mouth.

_Don't_-

Her slap echoed in the crowded cinema. The people nearest her looked over in surprise as she untangled herself from his shocked grasp. How many hands did he have anyway?

She never got to see the end of the movie.

/

"How was your date?" her mother asked.

"Date? What date?" her father demanded. He looked up from his dinner and frowned. "I thought she was seeing a movie with a friend?"

"Hush, Takeyo," her mother admonished. "Yumi?"

"Fine," she replied. She ignored the way her mother's eyebrows drew together as she stormed past the living room.

"Now wait a moment, I have a right to know what goes on in my own house!" her dad exclaimed.

"Do you now?" her mother demanded. Hiroki kept his head ducked as he stacked rice with his chop sticks. "Well then, the roof is leaking over the spare room again and I have to call in a specialist because you never bothered to get rid of the rodents-"

"Not now, Akiko!"

Yumi took the stairs two at a time and slammed her door shut. She collapsed onto her bed, already calling Shannon. "How'd it go?" Shannon squealed.

"I blew it," she sighed.

. . … . .

"I wouldn't hurt you," he told her. "I'd never hurt you."

Her smile was twisted a little as she touched his hand. She wanted to believe him, she really did. "I know you wouldn't," she replied. _Not intentionally_, she thought. "But I'm not ready for another relationship. I just like being your friend."

Ulrich nodded and his fingers laced with hers. "I understand." He gave her a small smile and she smiled back.

/

She wasn't sure how it happened. One minute they were sitting and talking, laughing about Odd's latest prank on Jim. The next thing she knew her lips were pressed against Ulrich's and his hands were knotted in her hair. She pressed against him, kissed him hard, and he didn't back down.

When they pulled away for air he gave her a tiny smile and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Well," he said.

She doubled over laughing until he followed suit. They leaned together, her forehead pressed to his shoulder and his fingers dancing across her shoulders, until they caught their breath. "I don't usually kiss on a first date," she groaned, wondering what he'd think of her.

Below her forehead his shoulder rose in a shrug. "Good thing this wasn't a date, huh?" he teased. "How about Friday night, seven-thirty? We can have dinner in town."

She liked that it wasn't a movie theater. "Sounds good," she agreed.

/

She couldn't place her finger on it. On what it was that made them combust. Or maybe she could, she'd just need more than one finger.

Ulrich held her hands but didn't meet her eyes. "I don't want to hurt you," he repeated. "I never wanted to hurt you."

It was so much like the first time he asked her out that she wanted to cry. Or laugh. "I know you don't," she murmured finally. "But we don't work, do we?" She'd seen this coming. She'd seen it coming but denied it for so long that she'd forgotten that they didn't work. They were too stubborn.

He looked relieved and that hurt more. He wasn't going to try to fight for them. And he didn't care that she wasn't fighting for them either. "We don't," he agreed. His eyes met hers and he looked so serious, so final and now the tears did come, gathered at the corners of her eyes and threatened to fall. Her fingers clenched around his. "I'm sorry, Yumi."

"Me too, Ulrich." He leans forward and kisses her forehead while slipping his hand out of hers. "Ulrich!" He met her eyes again. "Tell me it isn't Sissi."

He gave her a twisty smile. "It isn't Sissi," he agreed. "I have to get back, I promised Odd-"

"It's okay, go on. I'll see you at school," she interrupted. Again that relieved look and she felt her heart twist.

"Ulrich's not coming in?" her mother asked when she entered the house alone. Yumi shook her head and wiped at the stubborn tears that still clung to her eyelashes. "Oh, Yumi!"

"What? What happened?" her father asked. Her mother shot him a dark look as she hurried across the room to hug their daughter.

"It's okay," her mother soothed. She ran her fingers through her hair and rubbed her back. "I told you boys couldn't be trusted, they only break your heart. But you'll find one someday. I know you will."

Yumi sniffed and breathed in her mother's perfume and didn't argue.

. . … . .

Will's all dark eyes and secret smiles. He's the type of boy she promised never to get involved with again. But he sent her poetry and funny cartoons, hummed songs that she hadn't heard before and talked to her about history and messed up families.

Two weeks after she and Ulrich broke up she gave in. She wondered what that said about her.

/

Will's hands were tight on her upper arms, pinning her against the door. She reached up, fingers dug deep into his shoulders as she tugged him closer. Their mouths crashed together again-again-again. She could feel her heart race, could feel his pulse pound beneath her fingers. They were racing-racing-racing but not in sync like in all those stories she'd read.

He pulled back, panting hard and she pressed forward automatically. His grip stopped her and she glared at him and huffed. "Yumi," he said. His eyes were dark, darker than Kaito's when he lied to her at the fishpond, darker than Robert's when he whispered in her ear, darker even than Ulrich's when she struck at him and he fought back until they lay panting on the ground.

"Sh," she murmured. His grip relaxed enough for her to press her fingers to his face, to tug him back toward her. "Sh," she repeated. She pressed kisses to his mouth once-twice-thrice and then he was kissing her back. Groaning into her mouth and she thought _finally_ but she wasn't sure what she'd been waiting for.

She pushed him back until they collapsed on her bed and she never found out what he'd wanted to say to her.

/

"I can't do this anymore," Will told her. She scuffed a sneaker along the carpet in his room and ignored the annoyed look he shot her way. "I love you, Yumi. A lot. But you don't love me and you're going to Paris in three months. It's time we stopped pretending, isn't it?"

Her eyes rose to meet his and she leaned back against the wall. Idly she scratched along the black ink permanently staining her wrist. He reached over and took her hand, pressed his lips to the words written there. "The fact that you're not even going to argue…it tells me a lot," he murmured against her skin.

"It sounded like you'd made up your mind," she replied. She pulled her hand away and plucked at the tartan quilt. Will heaved a sigh and reached for her again. "Don't touch me," she snapped. "Not after what you just said."

"Yumi, _please_," he said.

"Forget it." She got up and grabbed her bag. "You're right; I'm leaving in three months. Wouldn't want you to have to _pretend_ anymore." She stomped across the room to the door.

"Yumi, damn it, that's not what I meant!" Will protested. He grabbed her arm and spun her around, pressed her against the door.

"Careful, Will," she cautioned. He searched her eyes, brushed the hair out of her face. "What are you doing?"

He leaned in and kissed her hard. Hard enough to bruise, to cut lips against sharp teeth. His grip left purple marks on her arms for days afterward. He pulled back and studied her face again. She raised an eyebrow curiously. "Nothing," he said and his tone was just shy of despondent. "I loved you, Yumi."

"Obviously," she snapped. She elbowed him before opening the door and storming out. She didn't stop running until she got home.

"Yumi?" her mother called. She had a pencil behind her ear and a red pen in her hand. She was in the middle of editing. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Will dumped me."

"Oh, Yumi, I'm-"

"Save it," she snapped. "You were right, guys will only break my heart."

"Yumi, I didn't-"

"I'm going to bed."

. . … . .

"Hey, Yumi, right?" She looked up at the voice. "Let me help you with that." The cardboard box she was struggling with was suddenly pulled out of her arms.

It took her a minute to place the face. "…John?" she asked.

He gave her a slight smile. "Close. It's Sean." She flushed and nodded. "You moving in here?"

"Yeah, school…"

"Cool." He hitched the box higher and nodded to the door. "Lead the way."

"Oh, no, I can manage…"

"Yumi, it's fine."

"Oh, okay. Thanks." She led the way so he wouldn't see her flushed face. His eyes dropped to her wrist.

"So I guess no more mistakes, huh?" he asked.

She gave a smile as she fumbled with her key and the door. "None worth remembering," she replied. She managed to get the door opened and sighed. "Sorry for the mess."

"Can't be worse than my place." He entered and ignored the piled boxes and clothes and scattered dishes. "Where do you want it?"

"On the table's fine." He placed it carefully on top of a stack of newspapers threatening to slide sideways off the table. "Well, thanks again."

"No problem." He gave her an easy smile. "You want to get some coffee? I know a café down the street-"

"Oh, well I'm not…I mean…"

"Yumi, it's just coffee. Just to welcome you to the city. It's okay." He hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans and bounced up and down on the balls of his feet, watching her intently.

She blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Yeah, sure, okay." He broke out in a wide smile and she couldn't help but grin back. "It sounds really great actually."

She reached for her purse and he shook his head, grabbed her arm and pulled her out the door. "Nah, I'm buying."

"But-"

His dark eyes twinkled as he smiled down at her while she locked the door. "If you have to then think about it as a welcome-to-Paris gift."

"Is that what it is?" she asked, pocketing her key.

"Doesn't have to be," he agreed. He held the outer door open for her. "But we'll have to wait and see, won't we?"


	5. Goth

**Title:** Goth

**Warnings:** Language, snarkiness.

**Rating:** PG

**Author's Note: **Here's the next chapter. Hopefully it isn't as angsty as prior chapters have been. Thank you to everyone whose favorited, followed, and left feedback. You all are too kind.

* * *

_4. She was not a goth and she hated it when people assumed she was._

Her father looked up from his morning paper and frowned. "Go change."

She frowned back and grabbed the carton of milk from the counter. "What? Why?"

"I won't have you dressed as some goth. Go put on something decent."

"This is decent!" she exclaimed. Hiroki snickered into his cereal and she kicked his chair as she passed him. "Shut-up, runt."

"Don't call me that," he snapped.

"I'm not a goth." She ignored her brother and poured milk on her cereal.

"You look like one," Hiroki supplied. "All dressed in black and mopey looking."

"Shut-up," she snapped again.

"Yumi, I'm not going to say it again." Yumi rolled her eyes and stabbed the spoon angrily into the bowl.

"Say what?" her mother questioned as she entered the kitchen. She fumbled with the clasp of her necklace and searched the fridge for the milk.

"Do you see what your daughter is wearing, Akiko?"

Her mother spared a look at her, spotted the milk, and hurried over. "I think she looks nice. I could do without the midriff showing, but that's the style these days, isn't it?" Her father spluttered while her mother poured a glass of milk and finger combed Hiroki's unruly hair. "You're in need of a haircut."

"Mom!" he protested.

"_Nice_?" he gasped. "_Nice_? She should change this instant!" His hands clenched in his newspaper and he took a vicious bite out of his toast, spilling crumbs on his new tie. "She looks like a hoodlum."

"I thought she was goth?" her mother replied.

Yumi groaned. "I'm not a goth!" she exclaimed. She shoved her chair back and grabbed her bag from where she'd dropped it on the floor. "I'm going to school."

"What about your breakfast?" her mother called.

"I'll eat at school!" She grabbed a granola bar on her way out and escaped to school half an hour early.

. . … . .

Odd had a glint in his eyes and a mischievous quirk to his smile that reminded Yumi a little too much of her little brother. He sprawled on the bench next to Ulrich and gave her a once over. She wanted to cross her arms over her chest but wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her squirm. Ulrich elbowed Odd away from him but the blonde just resumed his previous position as soon as the offending appendage was removed.

"So you're a goth?" he asked.

Jeremie looked up distractedly from his laptop. He gave her a small smile and rolled his eyes at Odd before returning to his typing. Yumi's eyes narrowed while Ulrich elbowed Odd again, this time in the ribs. "I'm not a goth," she replied.

"Right," Odd agreed. He eyed Yumi. "You sure you aren't a goth? You look the part, pale with dark hair and clothes…"

"I'm. Not. A. Goth."

"I mean, at first I thought it was just that you were having a black day, but you've come to school like this for two days straight. I'm surprised your geisha get up isn't black on Ly-"

Jeremie made a strangled sound and glowered at Odd over the top of his glasses. "_Odd_," he warned.

"Well, I'm just surprised you wore color," he supplied.

"Says the boy who always wears purple?" she retorted. Odd's eyes narrowed and his smile twisted to something just shy of malicious.

"Girls love a guy who's in touch with his femininity," he replied. His eyes flicked over her again. "Guys probably think you're on your way to a funeral."

"Don't be an ass," Ulrich muttered. Odd shrugged and ran a hand through his newly styled hair.

"Too late," Yumi snapped. She stepped over Odd's outstretched legs and took a seat next to Jeremie on the other bench. Ulrich gave her a helpless look and she rolled her eyes. "It's in his DNA."

"Ha-ha-ha," Odd replied when Ulrich snorted. "It's an easy assumption to make."

"Except when emphatically disputed," Yumi returned. Odd shrugged and pulled out a notebook and paper. Yumi dug through her own bag to find the novel she was supposed to have finished three days ago. "_Goth_," she muttered under her breath. She ignored Ulrich's smile and opened the book.

. . … . .

Hina squealed when she opened her door and threw her arms around her. "Yumi!" she shrieked. "I've missed you so much!" She took a step back and her eyebrows disappeared under her hair. "I know you've always had a proclivity for black…but goth?"

Yumi's eyes rolled as Hina pulled her into the apartment. "Not you too," she sighed. "My grandmother scolded for twenty-eight minutes straight about my _lifestyle choices_," she moaned. "I'm not goth. I just like black."

Hina's eyes danced and she led her down the hall to her room. "It's a bit shocking. When you lived here you wore _some_ color." Hina shoved her into the large pink chairs and took a seat on her bed. "So tell me…how hot are French guys?"

Yumi chuckled. "_Hina_."

"Don't deprive me, Yumi."

"Not that much," she replied. "There is one…but he's not French, he's German. The only thing is…" Her face heated and she shrugged. Hina laughed and threw a pillow at her head.

"Don't leave me hanging!"

"Well…we just met. And he's a year younger…"

"You cougar!" Hina teased. "But he's hot? What's his name?"

"Forget it, what about you? You've only talked about school in your emails lately." Yumi twirled the pink chair from side-to-side and studied her friend curiously. Hina shrugged a thin shoulder and chewed on the ends of a lock of hair.

"Oh, nothing much. You know…"

"Come on, spill it!" She tossed the pillow back. "Hina?"

"Nothing! Really!" Hina protested. She laughed and started in on a long story about her sister's latest cooking failure and Yumi forgot the secretive look in her eye.

. . … . .

"I _don't get it_."

Sissi's voice had gotten progressively louder until Ulrich had been forced to grab her by the arm and pull her out of the courtyard and nearer to the sports field. Yumi stood with Odd and Jeremie and watched Ulrich try and calm the girl. Sissi's hands flailed and one of them connected with Ulrich's shoulder.

"Ten Euros says she'll run sobbing by," Odd said. He was already digging in his pocket for the money.

"_Odd_," Jeremie groaned. He rolled his eyes at the other blonde. "Sissi'd have to have _feelings_ for that to happen."

Yumi smirked and leaned a shoulder against the brick wall behind them. "I'll take that bet." They handed their money to Jeremie for safe keeping and Jeremie sighed.

She watched as Ulrich put a hand on Sissi's shoulder. The girl stilled and she looked over at their group. "This should be good," Odd noted.

Yumi wasn't sure if it was good, but it was entertaining. Sissi's voice increased in pitch as Ulrich stepped away. He walked slowly back to their group, hands deep in his pockets. Yumi couldn't hear all the words but she caught the end well enough. The whole courtyard caught the end. "-_for that goth-girl Ishiyama, aren't you_?" Sissi screamed.

"I'm not a goth," Yumi seethed.

Odd snorted and cackled, leaned against Jeremie and they watched Sissi storm dry-eyed away to the rear of the school.

Ulrich reached their group and offered them a thin smile. "Come on," he said. "Let's go get supper."

. . … . .

"Don't forget I want you home by ele-"

Her father's voice broke off suddenly and she looked up curiously. "Dad? Is everything okay?" She grabbed her phone and checked for texts or missed calls. She wasn't ready to admit it was becoming an obsession.

"I…uh, you look nice, Yumi." Her father blinked at her from the armchair. She frowned in confusion. He'd seen her wear the deep burgundy dress before and hadn't commented on it before. "I forgot what color looked like on you."

Her eyes narrowed into a scowl. "Don't start, please."

"Right, well. Eleven, remember that." She nodded and slipped her phone into the small purse her mother had bought her last week. "Have fun at the dance."

"Thanks." She kissed his cheek and slipped out the door.

. . … . .

She could feel the eyes staring at her. She lifted her gaze from the novel she was reading for class and spotted Aelita watching her curiously across the library table. "Something wrong?" she asked. She wondered if this was Aelita's way of telling her there was something on her face.

Aelita's face flushed and she shrugged. "No…I just…Well, Odd and I were watching a movie last night-"

Yumi could see where this was going but she still had to ask. "Oh, really? And…?"

Aelita's cheeks darkened minutely. "He was explaining cliques and styles and well…you're…goth…?" she asked tentatively.

She closed her eyes and counted silently to ten. "No," she replied.

"Oh." Her forehead creased. "Emo? Punk?"

Yumi snorted at the last one and shook her head. "I'm just me. I like black," she said simply. "Like you like pink and Odd likes purple." She watched Aelita think it over, chewing her lip as she thought.

"I see," she said finally. "So you won't mind if we go shopping?"

"I won't," Yumi agreed with a smile. "Saturday at two?" Aelita beamed.

. . … . .

Yumi hesitated. She twisted to study her reflection in the mirror and smoothed the skirt again. There was a knock on the front door and she heard her mother call her name. She slipped her feet into her shoes and grabbed her purse before heading downstairs.

Will's eyes lit up when they saw her and she felt the beginnings of a blush stain her cheeks. He let out a low whistle. "You look _great_."

"Thanks," she replied.

Her father entered from the kitchen, attracted by Will's whistle. Hiroki trailed him. His face paled before turning red while Hiroki stopped and stared. "Go change."

She looked over at him in surprise and Will's grin was quickly smothered. "What? Why?"

"I won't have you dressed as some…some..." Her father seemed at a loss for words. He clenched his fists and rubbed at his face. "Go put on something decent. That black dress you have."

"This is decent!" she exclaimed. Hiroki snickered and she glowered. "Shut-up, runt." She turned to Will. "It's okay, right?"

Will looked uneasy. "I think you look great in everything," he said finally. He shot a cautious side-eyed look to her father.

"I thought you didn't like the black." She glanced down at the red dress she was wearing. It might have been a little shorter than her usual but it was hardly _indecent_.

"That's beside the point! Yumi, I'm not going to say it again."

"Say what?" her mother questioned as she entered the hall. She was fumbling with putting batteries in the digital camera, cursing softly in Japanese.

"Do you see what your daughter is wearing, Akiko?"

Her mother spared a look at her, and offered a smile. "Yes, doesn't she look beautiful?" Her father spluttered furiously. "Doesn't she?" She didn't wait for a response but waved Yumi and Will together. "I want pictures!" she exclaimed.

"Mom!" she protested.

"Beautiful?" her father managed to gasp. "Beautiful? Look at that hemline! Look at that neckline – not _you_!" he exclaimed when Will glanced at Yumi. "You keep your eyes and hands to yourself. (_"Dad!" she protested angrily_.) She should change this instant!"

"Hush, Takeyo," her mother snapped. "Our daughter looks like a beautiful young woman. Now, smile." She clicked the camera repeatedly, until Yumi was half blind from the flash.

"Okay, we're going, we're going to be late," Yumi said after the twentieth flash. She grabbed Will's hand, tugging him to the door. "Bye."

"Bye, Mr. Ishiyama, Mrs. Ishiyama. See ya, kiddo," Will called.

"I want you home by nine!" her father hollered as they crossed the porch.

"Takeyo," her mother sighed. "Eleven, Yumi. You're to be home by eleven," she called. As the door closed she heard her mother laugh. "Honestly, Takeyo, at least it isn't black. I was getting tired of her goth phase."

Yumi groaned, her head found Will's shoulder while his arm wrapped around her. "I'm not a goth," she groaned.

They crossed the street and he chuckled. "I know," he laughed. He kissed the top of her head and she smiled.


	6. Guilt

**Title:** Guilt

**Warnings:** Language, snarkiness, death.

**Rating:** PG

**Author's Note: **Hey, guys. Sorry for the long wait. I had a lot of schoolwork and then I got sick and well...I was still kind of sick when I finished this so let me know if it sounds loopy. Thank you to everyone whose favorited, followed, and left feedback. You all are too kind.

* * *

_5. She seriously considered leaving Sissi to drown during one X.A.N.A. attack (she didn't, but the guilt stayed with her)._

Yumi's phone vibrated in her pocket. She fished it out as she hurried across the courtyard toward the cafeteria where she was supposed to meet the boys. There was a soft drizzle falling from the grey clouds overhead and it was beginning to pick up. It was from Ulrich and she felt a smile war with a frown.

_XANA_.

The frown won. A moment later it buzzed again, this time from Jeremie. _Heading to factory from gym. Meet you there._

She typed a response and took off for the trees.

"And where are _you_ going?"

Yumi groaned but didn't stop. "Not now, Sissi." She wondered if the girl would follow her into the sewers or if she'd be too worried about getting something on her new shoes.

"You're up to something," Sissi protested. "Are you meeting up with Ulrich? I know you four are up to something."

"We are not. Go away," Yumi snapped. She kept an eye out for anything attack-worthy but the woods were silent. Except for the rumble of thunder overhead. The rain picked up, falling haphazardly through the leaves.

"He was never this secretive before _you_ came into the picture," Sissi reported. "_Ugh_, why does there have to be _mud_?" she whined.

"There isn't any at the _school_," Yumi retorted. "Go. Away."

"No. I don't know what you have over Ulrich but I'm going to find out."

Yumi groaned and spun around, glaring at Sissi. She was close to the sewer entrance now and she could hear the river running just beyond the shrubs. She had to get rid of Sissi _now_. "I don't have anything over Ulrich," Yumi snapped. "We're friends. He _likes_ hanging out with me. He _doesn't_ like you. You're annoying and persistent and you're so full of yourself that you think everyone wants to fall over themselves to be next to the great Elisabeth Delmas and –"

She stopped at the look on Sissi's face. Sissi's mouth curled into a sneer and her eyes narrowed. "I don't know why I bother," she muttered. "I hope you all get caught and expelled for whatever it is you're doing."

"Well, at least it would mean going to a school away from _you_," Yumi replied. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and the rain soaked through her clothes. "Just go back to school," she sighed.

Yumi turned on her heel and stomped off before Sissi could respond.

She had the manhole open when she heard the crash and scream. She hesitated, listening. All she could hear now was the rumble of thunder and the persistent patter of the increasing downpour. "Sissi?" she called. She let the cover fall back into place with a sharp _clang_.

Nothing.

Groaning as her phone buzzed again, she stood and retraced her steps to where she had last seen Sissi. She stopped and blinked the rainwater out of her eyes. There was a gaping hole where there wasn't one before. Hesitantly, she crossed the grass and edged along the perimeter trying to see Sissi in the pit.

"Sissi?" she called again. There was a groan and for a moment she thought it was Sissi. And then the earth gave way beneath her feet.

/

Yumi felt as though she'd been hit by a truck, or something. She sat up and rubbed at her eyes. She was sitting in a room, she realized. It looked like a maintenance room for the sewers. And it was filled with broken concrete and muddy earth and water. She looked around, noticed the rusty broken pipe jutting out of the wall that poured water. That and the downpour seemed to be what was quickly filling the room with water.

She wondered briefly if this was the X.A.N.A. attack or just fate's twisted sense of humor. Yumi tucked her hair behind her ears and looked around again. There was a metal door set in the wall beneath the pipe, a support bar slanted across it. Sissi was curled in a corner, eyes closed and breathing shallow. She didn't look injured from here though.

She got to her feet and managed to knock the support beam aside but the door wouldn't move. Icy water poured over her head and she backed away quickly. After a moment of contemplating the door she pulled out her phone. The screen was black and when she pressed the power button it gave a dull whine and a feeble shake before falling silent again. "Shit," she grumbled.

She kicked at the door angrily. A metallic _clang_ echoed and despite her boots her toes ached. "Must you?" Sissi whined from behind her. She wouldn't admit that she was happy to hear that she wasn't dead.

"Forgive me for trying to get us out of here," Yumi snapped.

Sissi groaned and her head connected with the dirt-smeared wall. "My head hurts. I think I'm going to puke." There was a pause and she heard Sissi shift. "Why am I all wet? There's water everywhere."

Yumi counted to ten before turning to face her. "It's raining, and there's a broken pipe." Sissi made a face like it was _her _fault they were in a flooding room. "You hit your head pretty hard," she added. Sissi groaned and drew her knees up to her chin. "It might help to put your head between your legs?"

"I _know_ that, Ishiyama," Sissi growled. "I'm not an idiot." She bent her head and took deep, shuddering breaths. "Honestly, of all the people in the _entire_ school, I'm stuck with _you_?"

"I thought your head hurt?" Yumi snapped. She went back to attempting to break the door or attract someone's attention, not that she expected anyone to be wandering the woods but maybe there was a maintenance worker or-

"I almost wouldn't mind Della Robbia," Sissi sighed in the echoes.

/

Yumi tried her phone again. The rain had let up but the pipe was still gushing and while some of the water was draining through the crack under the door, most of it wasn't. It was up past her ankles now. Sissi sat trembling in a corner, bent over a bucket and vomiting intermittently.

"Good thing maintenance left that bucket here, huh?" Yumi asked conversationally. Sissi made a disgruntled noise.

Her phone beeped and fell silent_._

She sighed and rubbed her face. Repeated kicks to the door had done nothing but make her foot and ankle throb painfully. She debated on going over and rubbing Sissi's shoulder or holding her hair back while she puked up her stomach while she waited for _someone_ to find them, or for the Return, or something. Sissi made a gurgled noise and sat back, hand over her mouth and eyes glassy and distorted. "You okay?" Yumi asked.

Sissi ignored her question. "Was that Ulrich?" she asked.

Yumi shook her head and slid down the wall. She tilted her head back and studied the grey clouds and swaying branches overhead. If she could just get up there and get help… "No," she replied after a moment. "The water killed my phone." Sissi groaned and muttered something under her breath. It sounded like German and Yumi frowned. "I think you have a concussion."

"No duh," Sissi snapped. "Captain obvious, aren't you?"

"Hey, I'm _trying_ to be nice, we're stuck here."

"_Really_?"

/

Sissi studied her through unfocused eyes and yawned widely. Yumi kicked her leg and Sissi glared at her. Her movement sent water splashing up around her waist. "Hey, no sleeping. We don't know how much more messed up your brain is right now."

"Can't be worse than Della Robbia's," Sissi stated. Yumi stared for a moment. Sissi cracked a smile and Yumi laughed.

"Yeah, can't be worse," she agreed. She heard something creak outside and frowned. "Did you hear that?"

"Wha-?"

She jumped up and began to hit the door again with a metal rod she'd found earlier. Tried to pry it open and felt one of her nails give. Blood streaked the door and then she heard Sissi vomiting again. There was another creak and then a hiss. "Can't handle blood?" she asked when the noises behind her stopped. "Why doesn't that surprise me?" She kicked at the door.

"Shut-up. I'm not a wuss." There was a pause and Yumi pressed her ear to the door to listen. There was a gurgling sound from the other side of the door. "What are you doing anyway?"

"Listening."

"To what?"

And that's when the water bubbled up from under the door.

/

Sissi breathed heavily in a corner. She was still sitting and the water was high on her waist. Yumi moved away from the door and the pipe. The most she could figure was that the sewer had overflowed the walkways and was fighting its way into the room.

"We have to try and get out," Yumi stated.

"I thought that was what you'd been _trying_ to do," Sissi replied. Her voice was weak and Yumi eyed her. She didn't look good. Her skin was pale and drawn, her breathing coming in sharp pants and breathy gasps.

"Yeah, well, the door isn't working, is it?" Yumi snapped. She eyed the walls and wondered if Sissi could hold steady enough to give her a boost up. All she needed was to get a hold on the earth above and she'd be good. She didn't understand what was taking the guys so long. "Do you think you can stand?"

"Of course I can…Why?"

"Maybe you can boost me up. If I can get high enough then I can get out."

"No way, you'll just leave me here," Sissi retorted. "If I'm going to die you are too."

Yumi rolled her eyes and tugged at her hair. "You aren't going to die!"

Sissi's arms crossed over her chest and she looked at the rising water pointedly. "No?" she asked. "Then boost _me_ out."

Yumi glowered. "You're concussed. You won't make it five feet before collapsing or throwing up or something. I can get back to the school and find Jim." Sissi's face darkened and Yumi narrowed her eyes. "You know I'm right."

"_Fine_," Sissi snapped. She staggered to her feet and shivered, gasped, and almost fell to her knees before Yumi grabbed her arm.

"What is it?"

"Dizzy," she replied. "And my ankle hurts. A lot." She winced and her face looked pinched. "Okay, let's do this." She moved to the wall and braced herself against it, wincing as she waded into the muddier section. Her hands formed a stirrup and she hunched over slightly. "Come on," she ordered.

Yumi hesitated, Sissi really looked unwell, before putting her foot in Sissi's cupped hands. "On the count of three?"

"Just, now," Sissi snapped.

Yumi pushed off with her other foot at the same time that Sissi straightened. She scrabbled at the ground and managed to grab onto something sturdy. She pulled and wiggled and managed to swing her leg up onto the solid ground. Gasping, she rolled over and stared up at the grey clouds.

"Hey!" Sissi called from below. "You're supposed to be getting Jim! Are you listening to me? Ishiyama!"

Yumi laid there counting heartbeats and breathing deeply. The air wasn't really any different up here, but somehow it was. She sat up and wrung out her shirt. She wondered if she should try and get Sissi out. She debated on going for Jim. She wondered if she should head for the factory.

She was three steps toward the manhole when she heard Sissi scream her name.

/

The water was rising faster and Yumi leaned as far as she dared over the edge of the pit. Sissi was treading water and looking faint. "Come on," she ordered, hand outstretched. "Just grab it, I'll pull you up."

"You _were_ going to leave me," Sissi accused.

"Shut-up and reach," Yumi snapped. She inched a bit farther out and felt some of the earth give way. Dammit, she was going to kill the guys when she got ahold of them. "Come _on_."

Sissi reached out, hand just shy of connecting with Yumi's. Yumi cursed and stretched farther. She wasn't sure how she was going to pull her up but she had to try. She'd waited too long to try and get out and the water was pouring in faster and if a Return didn't happen she was going to kill someone. Sissi faltered and went under for a moment, came up spluttering and looking terrified.

"Fuck," Yumi cursed. She got to her feet, ignored Sissi's terrified yelp, and jumped into the pit. The water was colder than she remembered. She managed to get an arm around Sissi and drag her toward the corner farthest from the spluttering pipe. "Come on, try and get out," she ordered.

"I'm tired," Sissi replied. Her body wasn't shaking anymore and Yumi felt Sissi go limp.

Yumi growled. She would not have Elisabeth Delmas's death on her conscience. It was unaccept-

/

Yumi's phone vibrated in her pocket. She fished it out as she hurried across the courtyard toward the cafeteria where she was supposed to meet the boys. There was a soft drizzle falling from the grey clouds overhead and it was beginning to pick up. It was from Ulrich and she felt a smile war with a frown.

_Missed you_.

The smile won.

. . … . .

"You cut it a little sharp there at the end, goofing off like that," Yumi said to Odd. She bumped his shoulder and he laughed and bumped hers back. Ulrich shook his head and followed just behind them. She could practically hear his eyes rolling.

"Nah, I'm an ace with timing. Don't be so uptight, Yumi," Odd snorted. "You have to put on a bit of show, otherwise where's the fun?"

"It isn't supposed to be fun," Yumi replied. She wanted to question who he was putting on the show for but figured it would be safer if she didn't know. All they needed was Odd to try and make Aelita his next conquest, despite Jeremie's obvious infatuation.

"Yeah, yeah, you're starting to sound like Einstein," Odd groaned.

"When do you think we set back to?" Ulrich asked. "We're still at the factory."

"Don't know, we'll ask Einstein, hopefully it was after Hertz's test," Odd replied. He bounded into the supercomputer room ahead of them. "Hey, Einstein-!"

Yumi froze in the doorway, stared at the boy sitting hunched in the chair, head in his hands and shoulders shaking. She didn't have to see the screen to know something went wrong. She just wasn't sure she wanted to know what it was.

/

Jeremie's eyes were ringed in black. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week, which was exactly how long it had been since…since. Yumi sat on Ulrich's desk chair and watched Jeremie run distracted hands through his hair.

"Philippe Dumas," he said finally. "Six-years-old." He took a breath and stared at one of the posters taped above Ulrich's bed. "Freak accident, died by strangulation from an electrical cord."

Yumi inhaled sharply. Ulrich was staring at his hands; Odd was scratching Kiwi behind the ears.

"Funeral's in two days," Jeremie added in the quiet.

"We should go," Yumi stated.

"That would raise questions," Jeremie protested. "Unneeded questions."

They were silent except for the occasional rustle as Odd shifted on his bed. "Yumi's right," Ulrich said finally. "We don't have to…we don't have to make ourselves known. But we should be there. It's our fault."

Odd looked up, eyes locked on his roommate. "It's X.A.N.A.'s fault," he said quietly.

"It's ours too," Ulrich said softly.

"This is a mistake," Jeremie announced. But he didn't complain.

/

"Jeremie," she murmured. She laid on his bed while he typed on his laptop, fingers flying on the keys. Her finger traced the black letters on her wrist, her nail scraped along the vein. "Jeremie, I almost did something terrible."

"Confess your love to Ulrich?" he asked.

"_What_?" She sat up and glared at the back of his head. "No. I don't love Ulrich."

"Of course not," Jeremie replied. "What did you almost do? Tell someone about Lyoko?" He turned to eye her over his shoulder through narrowed, suspicious eyes.

"_No_," she snapped. "Never mind," she added. "It was a stupid mistake that won't happen again."

His eyes softened and he got up. She scooted over as he sat down next to her. His hand rested on her shoulder and he looked at her curiously. "Yumi, are you okay?"

Her chest tightened and she nodded. "Yeah. I'm good." She took a deep breath and focused on the letters and numbers on her wrist.

Jeremie's eyes drifted to them as well and he sighed. "Don't you think it's time you scrubbed those off?" he asked gently. "Isn't it time to forget?"

"Forget?" she repeated. "How could you want to forget?"

His blue eyes were confused when they met hers. "How could you not?" he asked.

/

Odd found her at the gravesite a month after the funeral. He didn't seem surprised, even if she was. He fussed with the wreath and plush animals decorating the grave before adding a teddy bear and bouquet of calla lilies to the offerings.

He gave a small smile when he caught her look. "You should stop beating yourself up," he told her. He squeezed her shoulder tentatively. "What's done is done."

"It could have been Sissi," she said. He looked up at her in shock and she felt her face pale. She hadn't meant to say that.

"What?"

"Sissi," she repeated. Odd took her arm and guided her to a bench. She stared out over the cemetery and tried to ignore his look. "Two months ago, when I didn't make it to the X.A.N.A. attack," she murmured. "Do you remember?"

"You said there was a cave in?"

"Yeah…Sissi was with me." She swallowed and shrugged. "She was concussed and there was a broken water pipe. It filled up pretty fast. I got out and I almost left her. I didn't think…I mean, I thought a Return would…even if something happened…"

Odd was silent, his lips pressed together.

"I…"

"It wasn't your fault," Odd said slowly. "Even if…even if it had been Sissi, it wouldn't have been your fault. You wouldn't have known, none of us knew. It would be hard, harder than this because we go to school with her and Delmas would have been crushed, you know? And Ulrich…" he trailed off and Yumi looked at him.

"Ulrich would have hated me."

"Ulrich would have gotten over it," he said with some conviction. He hesitated and then looked at her. "Why did you? Save her, I mean."

Yumi shrugged. "I wasn't going to. I was already at the manhole but…she screamed my name. Yumi, not Ishiyama. I could tell something was really wrong then."

Odd nodded. His hand rested on her shoulder briefly, squeezed it gently. He got to his feet and looked down at her. "I'm going back to the school, you coming?"

"No, I'm going to stay for a while."

He nodded again and then paused. "Yumi, it doesn't matter who it was. It was going to suck anyway. We know better now, and it's a good thing you care. It means you're a good person."

She rolled her eyes but smiled a little. She managed to wait until he disappeared through the iron gates before she drew her knees up and sobbed.


End file.
